daily dose of Michelle~

I seriously hate it when I get jealous. Everytime the boy I like talks to another girl, I get jealous. Everytime I get a bad grade and someone gets a wayyyy better grade than I have, I get jealous. I get jealous of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. I just hate it…I’m trying to maintain my jealously level, but I think it’s getting worse….I just don’t know anymore….

I should’ve known better. You’re my best friend, nothing more, nothing less. I fell for you, pretty hard. You were my “first love.” I know, I’m only 13. Who says love has an age limit though? That night when you told me that you liked her, my heart shattered. Are you trying to pull away from me, because you didn’t want to ruin our friendship? Or was it because you never liked me, and led me on? Whatever your reason is, it killed me. It felt like someone took and knife and stabbed my heart 500 times. It hurt that much. “Oh well…..” I thought. But as a best friend, I should know better. Instead of hurting myself because you don’t feel the same way I do, I should be encouraging you. So, I am writing this post right now, to tell you that I hope you get the girl you are aiming for. I hope she loves you, like the way you love her. I hope you guys last forever and ever. I hope you invite me to your wedding. Even though it hurts me to write this, I’m still moving forward. It’s not physically killing me. It means that you are not the right one that God has pointed out for me. “What doesn’t kill you  makes you stronger.” So thanks to you, I’m going to aim to be a stronger person. I’m not over you, yet. 

FUCK SCHOOL. I hate it when people underestimates me. of course im not the brightest or the smartest, but i do have some ideas that people can use. I hate it when people think Im dumb. Okay, im sorry i wasnt born with the same intellect as you. now shut the fuck up before i knock your fucking face done. I’m just so done. its only been a month, but it seems like forever. I think I have probably given up on trying now. school is a bitch. I wanna stay home, locked up in my room. I don’t care. I don’t have a say at all. I have no options. its always “michelle do this.” or “michelle do that.” well no. fuck you all. i hate school. i hate teachers. i hate everyone. i would rather be alone with no friends than having fake ass friends. way to bring me down. i want to transfer schools, somewhere where people actually cares and understands that im not smart. “youre asian so you must be smart” that is the dumbest bull shit i have ever heard in my life. that is all for today. fuck you all.